Joy in the Overwhelming...

I LOVE being a mom. I love every aspect of it. Watching them grow, learn, understand, and love. I LOVE IT!

But Im also tired. Not a day goes by were I don't think, holy moly this is some serious hard work. I honestly feel behind in many areas such as cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, showering, and in homeschool, and that just to name a few. Im can easily say at least once (most often a few times a day) throughout my day I feel overwhelmed. Im convinced I can't do it all!

 I am not saying these things because I need sympathy, or pity, or another "bless her heart". Im also not saying this to open the firing range at me. (Words can sometimes feel like bullets) Things like "You know how kids are made, right?" These comments aren't building anyone up.  I am saying these things that WITH JOY I KNOW I CAN NOT DO THIS PARENTING THING. WITH JOY I FEEL OVERWHELMED. WITH JOY I AM BEHIND ON MANY TO DO'S OF MY HOME. AND WITH JOY I SURRENDER IT ALL TO JESUS. HE HAS THIS.

Im convinced that through parenting the Lord has stripped me of many layers of pride and independence. That knowing that the task of raising kids is sooooooo beyond me and my abilities... UNLESS done in the Lords strength. I have joy in the overwhelmed because I trust that the Lord is doing mighty things in this foundational season of our children's lives through this hard work. I have joy in being behind in my to do's because I know there is much more important tasks to do now, like help shaping their character and world view. I have joy in this season of tired because I am in the midst of MIGHTY KINGDOM WORK. Its far more important to shepard my kids to Jesus then to have the perfect Pintrest home or my laundry caught up.

I read an article the other day about moms with multiple kids feeling ashamed to tell friends or family how they were really doing because many people are responding to these women with criticism.  Scared to hear others comments, judgments, jokes, or harsh words. They weren't feeling ashamed of the size of their families, but more of the cultures stigma that moms of multiples should have it all together, because if they don't have it all together then they are to blame because they got themselves in this position. I have felt this. I have experienced this. This is a real struggle.  But in Christ this is our task as mothers we are working toward...

This this is our task no matter how many children we have, this is an exhausting task. (One very worth while, but exhausting) To teach diligently, talk while you sit, walk, lay down, and when you rise. Thats pretty much all day, everyday, 24/7.  Yep. Im tired just thinking about it. But is tired wrong or good? I believe that raising children is exceedingly rewarding, exhausting, frustrating, and a joy. Yep, all of these at the same time. With their needs, knowledge, understanding, and personalities changing ALL the time this is a huge task to be teaching diligently. Some could say overwhelming.

As a woman who wants more kids in my future I have to answer the question many people are and will ask me at some point... Why have more kids if your overwhelmed with what you already have?

My response is...

When did overwhelmed become an accurate assessment of whether we should have more kids or not? Isn't being overwhelmed an emotion? Do we really believe our emotions to lead us truth? Following our heart or emotion for that matter, is not a good basis for our theology. If I believe children are a blessing and that the Lord commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, then these verse below I believe are the best responses I can give. 

Psalm 127:3-5 

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?

Psalm 46:1  “God is our refuge and strength,  an ever-present help in need.”

Romans 8:26-28  “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.”

Psalm 73:26  “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

It is a good thing to be weak. Its a good thing to depend on the Lord. Its a good thing to have an open hand to the Lord in any area of our lives. (Not just but including how many or little kids we have) Its a good thing to find refuge and strength from Him when we are in need. 

When did being tired become a way to determine if we were "ready" to have or not have more kids?  I don't wish to be the next family with a reality show on how many kids I can have, but I do, without shame, say that the Lord is my strength, he has this.  Even when I become weary I KNOW that at the proper time we will reap a harvest. I also know the Lord has plans for each family and it is specifically good for them and their walk with the Lord. Being a tired mommy isn't bad. That a sign that your doing something right. Feeling overwhelmed is something the Lord has allowed into our lives order for us to see we NEED Him more and we CANNOT do this without him.  Please be gracious when you hear a mommy of multiples share her heart of the hard work that has been going on to raise her children in the Lord. She isn't saying she doesn't want those sweet gifts, or that she would change her season, its simply her sharing with you the work the Lord has put before her. 1,10,3, or 6 kids are all  tiring but we are reaping a good harvest.  Go and enjoy your little blessings now, that is what I plan to do. Well that and put up some laundry. Thanks for reading. 

Love, 
Alissa


Here are a few more verse that have been an encouragement to me in the season of being tired that can point me to truth.

Genesis 9:1 "And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth."

Isaiah 40:29  “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Jeremiah 31:25  “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.

I Kings 8:56  “Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel  just as he promised.  Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.”

Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Psalm 119:114  “You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Hebrews 4:16  “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Do these Little Years/Days Matter?

*Being intentional is exhausting* 

This year has been a big eye opener to how hard raising children really is. I can see how it would be so easy to say "Its not working". I could easily see all this discipline, teaching, and constant battles with toddlers as my white flag and count these years as something to just get through. I mean who seriously has the patience to day in and day out deal with the same silly  toddler things... Pick their nose, battle brush teeth, explaining why we don't use the word "mine" to a 2 year old that can hardly speak already, stay in bed, don't lick your brother, pay attention while you pee, please stop burping and tooting on purpose, stop running in the hall, don't spit on the floor or each other, and this list could go on forever. Its exhausting!!! And all could seem pointless.  Do correcting some of these things really matter? Is obedience really that big a deal? Will they figure it out on their own at some point? Is this all worth the work, because I don't see huge changes in the day to day battles...

Well, the question I asked originally, "who seriously has the patience to day in and day out deal with silly toddler things?" Well, I most certainly cannot. Im completely incapable of this kind of patience, discipline, and love to do these things without loosing my mind. But honestly with the deepest part of my soul I have learned that Jesus truly can do this. I fail daily at doing this parenting thing but I don't get a parenting grade on my performance... my security is in Christ's grace to redeem me and my sinful self to himself. He refines and reconciles me to himself through conviction, through sweet moments, through prayer, through finding little victories in the day that I can not claim as my own doing but as the Lords strength to not respond how my flesh really wants to. I fail majority of the day but Im a work in progress. Im not the perfect mommy, wife, or friend, BUT Jesus is able.

I am choosing daily to be intentional. To discipline in Christ, to praise in Christ, to rest in Christ, to take deep breaths in Christ, to repent and confess in Christ, and to take this role as mommy serious because it matters. Days seems long but there are glimpses of growth in the boys daily. From stop licking your brother to now, "Im sorry Calvin for licking you" or even Calvin now begging to brush his teeth. :o This is crazy! Because even a month ago we had to hold him down screaming like he was being abused just to get him to sorta have clean teeth. These small glimpses are proof that the Lord uses this exhausting season for their character growth and world view as well as my sanctification. This is enough for me to no give up and go lazy in parenting. That even when we don't think they are taking in what we are saying, THAT THE ARE! Lucas telling us about bible stories that we didn't really think he was listening to, or his new desiring to pray when he is scared, thankful, or just because. Its exhausting but the reward will be and are sweet.

I love that they each have their own HUGE personalities and how God made them so unique but I also love that we have the high calling to help shape their character. I once heard you can't change a person, and this is true to a degree. If we view people as Gods specific design we see there is no reason to change the personality of a person (outgoing, shy, silly, serious) but our character is something the Lord builds and is using our young years for that foundation. People can change, if they can't then why would Jesus come to die.

So onward! Keeping my eyes on Christ, running the race the Lord has set me on, and hoping that even when I don't see it, HE is doing amazing things. I need to keep asking him to show me my heart and for His power to transform me, which is in turn transforming my kiddos and those around me.

Praising the Lord he has control over it all, has a good and perfect plan, and that this stage of life REALLY matters.


Well, duty calls... I just got spit up on.

Together in Christ, Your sister,
Alissa xoxo

Homeschooling: Information Overload

     Since getting married back in 2009 homeschooling has been our desire for our home. It isn't the only option or even the one and only best option for everyone but for our family its the most perfect fit. We arrived here early on before we had kiddos because it fit into our multi-generation thinking and vision we had for our family. Our personal christian world view led us to conclude that homeschool was the perfect fit for us to help shepard and teach our children. It is really odd to have this passion for teaching my kiddos considering I HATED school when I was younger. I didn't pay a bit of attention in high school, cared more about my sports, and struggled to get by in college. There were many factors in this view of school but the largest factor in me hating school was I didn't have a relationship with Jesus and how he is was woven through our history, math, science, media, art, health, and more. Our desire is to know Christ more and make Him known, and when we are children in school we can see that even in this season of learning our basics that this can be happening.

     All of this being said, HOLY MOLY INFORMATION OVERLOAD! Lucas has been desiring school lately because friends were headed off to preschool, shows on Netflix talking about school and he has a serious desire to learn. Oddly enough I wasn't going to organize any kind of preschool home schooling. I was advised to just teach as life moves. Not to organize much  (Which is not me! I LOVE ORDER and schedules) but to just have an atmosphere of learning. But Lucas is expressing a desire for more structured teaching time so here we are. We have arrived at this a year or more sooner than I had anticipated. Im working hard to gather all the information I could possible need to begin this journey.

     I have decided that I want to have themed weeks, bible verses, circle time, table time, and specific teaching time for letters, numbers, writing, shapes, dictionary, and characteristics of God.  So I now have all this running through my head and need to put it all together! How on earth do I do this!! Time to print of schedules, lesson plan outlines, and calendars. Pray for us as we work through this and pray I understand it quickly. Thanks y'all! If you are on a similar journey and have any advise or encouragement it is welcome. 

Here's about a 1/100 of these ideas and plans running through my head... THANKS PINTREST!!

       

Isabella Ann Hodge's Birth Story

Yes its been far too long since I have written on here but none the less here it is...

Isabella Ann Hodge’s Birth Story

It was June 21st, Fathers Day that Isabella Ann decided it was her birthday. Im not sure of the time, but early in the morning while it was still dark I found myself waking for what seemed to be no reason. I would wake up, feel nothing and fall back asleep. It wasn't until around 6:30am that I was woken up and actually felt a contraction. I do remember at that time that they were like 45 mins apart. I thought, man I have a long way to go to get to active labor. Shortly after realizing these were real, yet far apart, Tyler texted my mom and asked her to come and pick up the boys around 8-9. 

When my parents arrived it was about 8am. My mom and I went for a walk before she left. No more than 5minutes into the walk my contractions were sporadic some 1 minute apart others 3 minutes, one minute long, 10 seconds and all over the place. I had to stop walking many times to catch my breath. When we got home I sat down for a little bit, ate breakfast with my family, and gave Tyler his fathers day gift. At some point everyone left me in the living room with the boys alone and they started to go wild. I was chasing and discipling them all on my own. Because of my increased activity and movement the contractions intensified. At that point I called the adults back in and said it was time for Nana and Papaw to take the boys up to their house.

  My doula Rhonda told me to relax, try to ignore the contractions and just go on with normal life. I dont know why I thought this was normal but I then chose to watch 2 movies and rock in a rocking chair. (Totally not a normal day) But i was able to relax and ignore the contractions. After the movies were over my doula came over and said I needed to be moving around for labor to move along. She told me to take some time to sleep before getting up to maybe conserve some energy. If I was unable to sleep through the contractions then I needed to get moving. 

I dozed in and out of rest for about an hour or hour and a half before getting up and moving. Tyler and I decided to get up and start to make a birthday cake for baby Bella. I mean it was going to be her birthday soon enough.  For sure contractions picked up and becoming more noticeable and more frequent. At one point I couldn't even hold the mixer because the contractions were getting greater.  I texted my doula to come on to the house and I also decided to go sit down and FaceTime my mom, Lucas, and Calvin before labor became too much. It was pretty amazing thing to have contractions almost decrease in pain by 80% as I rocked in the chair and chatted with my family. 

It was about a 10 minute conversation and once I got off my doula arrived. I moved to the birth ball told her that my contractions, while I was moving, were much more intense. After chatting for about 10mins we decided I would go relax in the shower, Tyler would keep an eye on me, and Rhonda would set up for labor in the living room. (I don't like laboring at the hospital so I labor at home as long as I can then move to the hospital for delivery) So I got up to head back to the shower and not sooner than the hall way bathroom did I have yet another intense contraction where I needed to stop and lean on the wall. I made it to the master bathroom and sat on the birth ball while tyler ran down to take care of a quick chore. He was gone maybe 5 mins but in that time I had 3 contractions that were pretty intense. I happen to text Dr. Dornfeld with the message… “Well I believe I have hit active labor”. (My doctor is amazing! I was able to text her through the day and she texted me to check my progress. She is amazing)  Although you will learn that my text was a major understatement. 

Tyler came back in I told him things were moving fast and they were feeling much more intense. As the contractions continued Rhonda, Tyler and, myself discussed what needed to be done. At that time i started to have those thoughts of doubt and I don't know if I can do this… THEN I heard a faint song on my phone. I was my labor playlist. The next contraction I zoned in on my music. As I sang along with the song I found my labor pains when from a pain level 7 to a 3. That was it. It was my special place and a true source of comfort. It was all about who God is and his presence was clear from that point on. 

I then decided to get in the shower to hopefully help easy any labor pains. Tyler loaded the car quickly while Rhonda stayed with me. Because I relaxed most of the day I assumed I had a few hours to get through active labor and transition… Oh was I wrong. After about 5 mins in the shower I looked at Rhonda and said we need to go now. Like Im feeling lots of pressure low and Im certain we need to go now. So we rushed out of the shower, to the car, and drove to the hospital. During the drive I found that if I zoned out of what was happening around me and focused on what I was doing that labor was still very manageable. I played “Never Once” by Shane and Shane on repeat for the entire time I was at the hospital. I jammed my phone speaker as far into my ear as possible, to the point I couldn't hear anyone else and I just sang to God, out loud, worshiping the Lord in the midst of labor. (Gods character was the center of my labor, the drive, the strength, and the hope. I could not have done it on my own. His truth was my Rock.) 

When we arrived we found I was 10cm! I labored for about 30 minutes at the hospital, because my water had not broken, to see if it would break on its own. Even though I was in the zone I finally arrived at DOC whats the hold up! Why is it not breaking?! She gave me 2 options, one, keep going or two she could break it and we could start pushing. I looked at Rhonda she gave me the nod and we broke my water. ( I am always hesitant to do any interventions but this was a good exception. Never would I break my water before this point unless baby or I were at risk)

Something happened at the point for me mentally. I lost much of my focus on my music and the fact that He was faithful and that He has never left me alone suddenly turned to be the loud natural labor lady. (Im gonna try to work on this next time) And for the life of me, would not open my legs while pushing. I fought it. I just kept thinking I HATE PUSHING! And repeatedly asked Dornfeld to GET HER OUT! Dr. Dornfeld calmly kept telling me that it was up to me. I needed to open up my pelvis more so there was room for Bella. We finally saw Bella’s head and my sweet doctor looked at me and said you give me all you have on this next push and you will be holding your baby. I said you bet! We learned then that she did have the cord around her neck but my awesome doctor slipped it off her very quickly with out us even knowing and because of Calvin and his shoulder distotia at his delivery, she also squeezed Bella’s shoulders in a bit just to be sure she wouldn't get stuck. What felt like forever to push Bella out took a total of 15mins. LOL! 15mins. Longest 15 minutes ever! But Bella was born at 6:22pm at 9.1lbs and 21 inches long. (To think she ever measured below 10% in the womb is hilarious)  Because of such a fast delivery she was pretty swollen and bruised. Literally she was bruised everywhere, black eyes, cheeks, blood shot whites of her eyes, arms and legs were bruised and goodness she was so swollen. But she was as healthy as can be. 

Later I found out that as I labor in the hospital and was completely unaware what was going on around me that a couple things were happening. 1) Everyone respected my wishes to be left alone and not asked any questions and they asked Tyler all the questions 2) My doctor was singing with me as she set up for delivery 3) My doula and nurses were crying because they had never seen natural labor done like this. Singing and calm.  *I HAD NO CLUE! I didn't plan this. I simply asked the Lord to be lord over my labor. The Lord was not only drawing my heart to Him while I labored but His name was being proclaimed, worshiped, and in awe of as my labor continued. HOW COOl! All the glory and honor to his name. This is one reason I can see that the Lord held off on my water breaking so we could all step back and see that HE IS LORD OF ALL. All of us in that room got 30mins to just worship Him in the midst of new life being delivered soon. Bella was born in a room that was filled with the Holy Spirit and love.

Finally want to thank my husband for his hands and encouragement during labor. As well as my doula Rhonda, my doula via phone Kim, my beautiful Dr. Dornfeld and those nurses who's names I dont know. You all were precious gift from God in such a life-changing moment. 

Because one of my requests was to get pictures throughout the day we have time stamps from the camera images metadate to tell us exactly when things were happening. Enjoy the play by play.

Heres the time frame…

7:13am- couldn't sleep but contractions were like 30mins apart. nervous energy maybe.

8:15am- went on a walk with my mom. Contractions were crazy. Every minute for like 30secs

9:24 am- settled into some movie watching in my trusty rocking chair. (great labor delayer)

1:13pm- Doula arrive and tells me to rest if I can for an hour then start moving!!! No more sitting

2:30-?*No pictures here so I dont know times but we started to bake a cake and because contractions increased I called the doula to come and made my last call to my family (in my rocking chair to slow labor so i could speak)

5:01pm- started my walk to the shower average pained contractions but I could feel active labor

5:08pm- 3 intense contractions within 5 minutes waiting for tyler. Then jumped into the shower.

5:35pm- Ive arrived at the hospital at 10cm and labored with my water for 30mins

6:04pm- the doctor broke my water and I began pushing

6:22pm- Isabella was born!     

Welcome to the family Bella! Thanks for reading y'all!

    

The Bagga's Romantic Wedding: Center Point Photography

The Bagga wedding was one of the most romantic, rose drenched, luxurious weddings I have been apart of. It was the perfect day for a Indianapolis Zoo Wedding. Sun was shining, air was cool, and the trees were just starting to turn. It all felt like it was right out of a book and photographed just the same.  Im thankful I got to be apart of my fellow high school basketball players (no I won't tell you how long ago that was) wedding day dream, and hope many many blessed years to come. 

Let the party begin...

This wedding was pure romance. It was full of love, red roses, kisses, smiles, and a huge party. Thank you Jill and Nik for allowing us to be apart of your big day. It was a day to remember. And one heck of a party.

- Center Point Photography

In case you were wondering how Jill and Nikhil put there wedding day together, here is a list of their vendors. 

Venue: Indianapolis Zoo

Caterer: CenterPlate
Photographer: Center Point Photography: Alissa Hodge
DJ: MGS DJ's
Decor: Atmospheres Indy
Florist: coby Palmer Designs
Videographer: Day Job Films by Gareth Davis
Cake: Brendas Cakes
Dress: Brides by Demetrios
Hair: Amy Sloan
Make up: Done by the Bride (She did all the girls make up including her own, SuperStar)
Bridesmaid dresses: Alfred Angelo

Rings: Zales