This is my first time to write down the birth story of Lucas. It was a hard season but God has carried me through it and is receiving all the glory and praise. So here goes.
I had a great pregnancy with Lucas. Not really sick ever, 2nd trimester was great, and 3rd trimester is never fun. Labor started at about 6am when my water "broke". (It was more of a trickle.) But needless to say water breaks the doctor says go in. So thats what we did. This is an important detail... I am a very visual person and tend to get anxious easily... because of these characteristic I decided to know as little about labor as possible. You know, ignorance is bliss. I never watched a labor video or saw any images of labor. Just chatted with my doula about it.
Anyway, we made it to the hospital around 7am. We got there checked in and tried to get comfortable. My doctor was not on call. It was another doctor that was in our office that I had never met. We met him and told him our desire was to have a 100% natural labor. No interventions. Dont even offer it unless baby or mom is at risk or if we ask. Well, that information was not what he wanted to hear. He promptly told us I wouldnt make it past 5cm and that I would be in labor for well over 24hrs. WoW! That is not a good start. We told him we still wanted to try and shockingly we were still feeling good about it. It was a weird first impression but because of the hype of labor we easily moved past it.
Well in order to keep labor moving along I walked the halls for a few hrs. Couldnt tell you how long but I walked till I couldnt walk anymore. I then found a good spot on the birth ball. It was comfortable and to be honest I was having so much back labor I was terrified to move to a different position. One major pain manager was my doula sitting behind me and pressing an extremely hot rag on my back during every contraction. But let me tell you when they say its labor they really mean it. Because my water had broken many hours earlier the contractions were pretty intense. Keep in mind I had no pain medicines. Ok so this is were it gets crazy...
I was at 7cm. 7! That is transition and everyone kept saying were are so close. Well that couldnt have been farther from the truth. Hours later I made it to 9cm. Then I got stuck. Yep stuck. The doctor came in and stood as far away as possible and spoke every time I had a contraction. He had to repeat about 4 times that because I wasnt progressing like "normal" and I needed to have a C-section, epidural, or an internal probe. (whatever that meant) We, meaning my family, doula, Tyler, and myself, proceeded to ask many follow up questions.
"Was there something wrong with the baby?" "Was there something wrong with me?" "Is there something that we dont know?" "Do we have other options?"
He said all was good. No one was at risk. Heart rate was good and nothing concerning but it just isnt "normal" to transition for so long. So Tyler asked...
"Can we just wait and see what happens?"
He promptly responded, "You're making her suffer!?"
Tyler said no we made this choice early on. We are on the same page. And I agreed.
The doctor then said "She can suffer all night for all I care!" And he stormed out the door.
So Tyler followed because clearly this was not how a doctor should treat a patient. Tyler was walking behind him trying to catch up to him to talk and stand up for me. The doctor turned around and shoved Tyler. Yep the doctor actually did this. (One nurse saw it but refused to admit it. I dont blame her. Thats a crazy situation) Security was called, my father in law and my dad somehow heard and met up with Tyler in the hall as they all dealt with the conflict. They threatened to kick Tyler out of the hospital. Tyler then refused to allow that doctor to deliver Lucas. That didnt go well with the doctor or the hospital.
Mean while the head nurse came in my room and kicked everyone out. I was alone in transition with a nurse I didnt know. She said we dont care what your husband says we need to know what you want to do. I told her I didnt want to do anything I wanted to keep trying. So after what seemed like forever Tyler came back in the room.
Well, my doctor showed up an hour later. He treated us the same way the other doctor treated us. Stood on the other side of the room, speaking over contractions, and sternly only giving me the same 3 options. I was soooo exhausted at this point and scared I opted for an epidural. Well... because I didnt have an IV I had to wait an hr to get fluid in me. Then by that time there was no dr available do administer the epidural. So another hour passed and as the epidural dr came in so did the head nurse and she checked me.... After 5hrs stuck at 9.5cm she said I was at 10cm and could push.
I have heard many friends tell me this was their favorite part. But because I did all I could do for the last few hours not to push, it was honestly not my favorite part. I remember saying to my doctor between pushes.. "Wow! This is really hard!", "This hurts bad", among many other things. ;) My doctors response was, "I told you so.", "now you know why people get epidurals." and "stop breathing!" I felt like I was doing a horrible job. Like I was doing it all wrong. But after about 45mins to 1hr Lucas was born at 1243am on Dec 30th.... 19.5hrs of labor! It felt soooo good to be all done! So thankful for a healthy baby boy and to finally get rest for my body.
THIS MAY BE TOO MUCH DETAIL BUT ITS APART OF LUCAS' BIRTH STORY. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
I was soon informed that I had ripped almost completely through. Doctor said I was "hanging on by a thread". This proved to be a long road for me for months to come.
ANYWAYS...
So they next day we are sitting in the recovery room staring at Lucas in awe, and talking about the experience from the day before. We knew that what had happened during labor was wrong but were trying to talk it out together to move forward.
Shortly after that chat my doctor came into the room to check on me and Lucas. I told him I was good. That my tear was hurting but that was tolerable. He told me he thought I could leave by the 31st because all seemed to be fine. He only spoke to me and didnt really acknowledge Tyler at all. But as he turned to leave Tyler said Im sorry we had to call you in last night. The situation got out of hand and we didnt trust the doctor and felt we needed someone to trust. Sorry for all the craziness. The doctor then told us exactly how he felt. He said I have dreaded the last 9months because everytime you come to the office you think you know it all. You are not a doctor. You are prideful, arrogant, and you think you know it all! I hated you as my patient. Tyler honestly calmly responded with I am sorry you felt that way. That is not my intention. I am a through and thoughtful person. I love information and I wanted to know why you do what you do, not just what you do.
They went back and forth for a while trying to understand each other and finally I added my thoughts. I told the doctor I understood his perspective. How Tyler can easily come off that way, but that his heart is far from those things. He came off to me this way when we first met but I soon learned its just how he can be perceived not who he is. Thats how it ended. Awkward and uncomfortable. I was in shock! Tyler was very confused.
We left the hospital a day later went home. Tyler got an amazing video of me (which at the time I didnt want but now am thankful for) talking about my experience and cried through most of it. ( I dont know if I will ever share the video but Im thankful I have it) That being said I the next few months I was a wreck. I had some serious post partum and wasnt sure if it would ever go away. I had serious nursing problems, cried often, it was so hard to think about the labor, and I stressed about every detail. (Part of this is being a new mommy) But around the 5month mark I started to feel better. (What I didnt know was that I had buried a lot of it and pushed it off to the side as not a big deal. Ill share more on the effects of it all in a later post.)
Needless to say Lucas' story hasn't been an easy one to tell but it feels so good to finally write it down. I've shared it a number of times but to write it down, well for some reason I was so scared. Calvin's birth played a huge part in my closure and healing from the trauma of Lucas' labor. Thanks for reading. I cant wait to share with you how the Lord used fear to heal me and trust God even more.
Life without this boy wont be the same. Lucas even though your birth story is crazy I wouldnt trade it for anything because it gave me you! Love you!
Love you my sweet boy!!!!!
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