Joy in the Overwhelming...

I LOVE being a mom. I love every aspect of it. Watching them grow, learn, understand, and love. I LOVE IT!

But Im also tired. Not a day goes by were I don't think, holy moly this is some serious hard work. I honestly feel behind in many areas such as cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, showering, and in homeschool, and that just to name a few. Im can easily say at least once (most often a few times a day) throughout my day I feel overwhelmed. Im convinced I can't do it all!

 I am not saying these things because I need sympathy, or pity, or another "bless her heart". Im also not saying this to open the firing range at me. (Words can sometimes feel like bullets) Things like "You know how kids are made, right?" These comments aren't building anyone up.  I am saying these things that WITH JOY I KNOW I CAN NOT DO THIS PARENTING THING. WITH JOY I FEEL OVERWHELMED. WITH JOY I AM BEHIND ON MANY TO DO'S OF MY HOME. AND WITH JOY I SURRENDER IT ALL TO JESUS. HE HAS THIS.

Im convinced that through parenting the Lord has stripped me of many layers of pride and independence. That knowing that the task of raising kids is sooooooo beyond me and my abilities... UNLESS done in the Lords strength. I have joy in the overwhelmed because I trust that the Lord is doing mighty things in this foundational season of our children's lives through this hard work. I have joy in being behind in my to do's because I know there is much more important tasks to do now, like help shaping their character and world view. I have joy in this season of tired because I am in the midst of MIGHTY KINGDOM WORK. Its far more important to shepard my kids to Jesus then to have the perfect Pintrest home or my laundry caught up.

I read an article the other day about moms with multiple kids feeling ashamed to tell friends or family how they were really doing because many people are responding to these women with criticism.  Scared to hear others comments, judgments, jokes, or harsh words. They weren't feeling ashamed of the size of their families, but more of the cultures stigma that moms of multiples should have it all together, because if they don't have it all together then they are to blame because they got themselves in this position. I have felt this. I have experienced this. This is a real struggle.  But in Christ this is our task as mothers we are working toward...

This this is our task no matter how many children we have, this is an exhausting task. (One very worth while, but exhausting) To teach diligently, talk while you sit, walk, lay down, and when you rise. Thats pretty much all day, everyday, 24/7.  Yep. Im tired just thinking about it. But is tired wrong or good? I believe that raising children is exceedingly rewarding, exhausting, frustrating, and a joy. Yep, all of these at the same time. With their needs, knowledge, understanding, and personalities changing ALL the time this is a huge task to be teaching diligently. Some could say overwhelming.

As a woman who wants more kids in my future I have to answer the question many people are and will ask me at some point... Why have more kids if your overwhelmed with what you already have?

My response is...

When did overwhelmed become an accurate assessment of whether we should have more kids or not? Isn't being overwhelmed an emotion? Do we really believe our emotions to lead us truth? Following our heart or emotion for that matter, is not a good basis for our theology. If I believe children are a blessing and that the Lord commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, then these verse below I believe are the best responses I can give. 

Psalm 127:3-5 

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?

Psalm 46:1  “God is our refuge and strength,  an ever-present help in need.”

Romans 8:26-28  “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.”

Psalm 73:26  “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

It is a good thing to be weak. Its a good thing to depend on the Lord. Its a good thing to have an open hand to the Lord in any area of our lives. (Not just but including how many or little kids we have) Its a good thing to find refuge and strength from Him when we are in need. 

When did being tired become a way to determine if we were "ready" to have or not have more kids?  I don't wish to be the next family with a reality show on how many kids I can have, but I do, without shame, say that the Lord is my strength, he has this.  Even when I become weary I KNOW that at the proper time we will reap a harvest. I also know the Lord has plans for each family and it is specifically good for them and their walk with the Lord. Being a tired mommy isn't bad. That a sign that your doing something right. Feeling overwhelmed is something the Lord has allowed into our lives order for us to see we NEED Him more and we CANNOT do this without him.  Please be gracious when you hear a mommy of multiples share her heart of the hard work that has been going on to raise her children in the Lord. She isn't saying she doesn't want those sweet gifts, or that she would change her season, its simply her sharing with you the work the Lord has put before her. 1,10,3, or 6 kids are all  tiring but we are reaping a good harvest.  Go and enjoy your little blessings now, that is what I plan to do. Well that and put up some laundry. Thanks for reading. 

Love, 
Alissa


Here are a few more verse that have been an encouragement to me in the season of being tired that can point me to truth.

Genesis 9:1 "And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth."

Isaiah 40:29  “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Jeremiah 31:25  “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.

I Kings 8:56  “Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel  just as he promised.  Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.”

Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Psalm 119:114  “You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Hebrews 4:16  “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Do these Little Years/Days Matter?

*Being intentional is exhausting* 

This year has been a big eye opener to how hard raising children really is. I can see how it would be so easy to say "Its not working". I could easily see all this discipline, teaching, and constant battles with toddlers as my white flag and count these years as something to just get through. I mean who seriously has the patience to day in and day out deal with the same silly  toddler things... Pick their nose, battle brush teeth, explaining why we don't use the word "mine" to a 2 year old that can hardly speak already, stay in bed, don't lick your brother, pay attention while you pee, please stop burping and tooting on purpose, stop running in the hall, don't spit on the floor or each other, and this list could go on forever. Its exhausting!!! And all could seem pointless.  Do correcting some of these things really matter? Is obedience really that big a deal? Will they figure it out on their own at some point? Is this all worth the work, because I don't see huge changes in the day to day battles...

Well, the question I asked originally, "who seriously has the patience to day in and day out deal with silly toddler things?" Well, I most certainly cannot. Im completely incapable of this kind of patience, discipline, and love to do these things without loosing my mind. But honestly with the deepest part of my soul I have learned that Jesus truly can do this. I fail daily at doing this parenting thing but I don't get a parenting grade on my performance... my security is in Christ's grace to redeem me and my sinful self to himself. He refines and reconciles me to himself through conviction, through sweet moments, through prayer, through finding little victories in the day that I can not claim as my own doing but as the Lords strength to not respond how my flesh really wants to. I fail majority of the day but Im a work in progress. Im not the perfect mommy, wife, or friend, BUT Jesus is able.

I am choosing daily to be intentional. To discipline in Christ, to praise in Christ, to rest in Christ, to take deep breaths in Christ, to repent and confess in Christ, and to take this role as mommy serious because it matters. Days seems long but there are glimpses of growth in the boys daily. From stop licking your brother to now, "Im sorry Calvin for licking you" or even Calvin now begging to brush his teeth. :o This is crazy! Because even a month ago we had to hold him down screaming like he was being abused just to get him to sorta have clean teeth. These small glimpses are proof that the Lord uses this exhausting season for their character growth and world view as well as my sanctification. This is enough for me to no give up and go lazy in parenting. That even when we don't think they are taking in what we are saying, THAT THE ARE! Lucas telling us about bible stories that we didn't really think he was listening to, or his new desiring to pray when he is scared, thankful, or just because. Its exhausting but the reward will be and are sweet.

I love that they each have their own HUGE personalities and how God made them so unique but I also love that we have the high calling to help shape their character. I once heard you can't change a person, and this is true to a degree. If we view people as Gods specific design we see there is no reason to change the personality of a person (outgoing, shy, silly, serious) but our character is something the Lord builds and is using our young years for that foundation. People can change, if they can't then why would Jesus come to die.

So onward! Keeping my eyes on Christ, running the race the Lord has set me on, and hoping that even when I don't see it, HE is doing amazing things. I need to keep asking him to show me my heart and for His power to transform me, which is in turn transforming my kiddos and those around me.

Praising the Lord he has control over it all, has a good and perfect plan, and that this stage of life REALLY matters.


Well, duty calls... I just got spit up on.

Together in Christ, Your sister,
Alissa xoxo